I Fucked Up.

27, October 2018

I fucked up. I fucked up bad.

It all started with a guy I worked with. We got along great, we were friends, but then he got a new job and would be moving and leaving this one. On his last day at work we decided to meet up at a bar by my place for drinks. He said he would be bringing someone he's been living with. He told me he's been wanting me to finally meet him. He said we'd get along great, that he was really friendly and cool.

If my boyfriend was home that weekend, he would've been there that night and come out with us. Had he been home, maybe none of this would have happened. But he wasn't home. Thankfully my sister was in town, so she agreed to come along with me.

It was a fun night. We were all taking turns buying each other drinks, talking, laughing, having a great time. We all headed back to my apartment to hang out for a little while then my friend left and the next thing I knew, it was morning. I woke up to find my sister and my two dogs still asleep, but there was something else, something that could change my home forever if I didn't fix this. I couldn't believe what I had done.

He's so cute and so smart, but he's so young. What was I thinking? Why would I think it would be ok to bring him home that night? What was going to happen when my boyfriend came home and found out?

I knew I had to tell my boyfriend. I didn't want him to come home and find out, or to hear about this from someone else. He had to hear it from me and he needed to know now.

So, I did it. I told my boyfriend about Benji, the 8 week old beagle that I brought home from the bar last night, that my friend from work couldn't take him where he was moving, and we would be fostering him until we could find Benji a new home.

My boyfriend was PISSED. He still is. There is not enough foot rubs and ass kissing in the world that I can do to make him not be mad at me for this. I love animals so much, but this is not the kind of dog house I want to be in.

Luckily, I found Benji a forever home about a week and a half later. It brings me so much happiness and comfort to know he went to a perfect home. He's such a cute and smart puppy with so much potential. I'm so thankful that I was able to help him.

I look forward to the day that my boyfriend isn't so mad at me, but until then I just have to let him be mad. He deserves that. I should have talked to him first. I should have told him upfront what the plan was before agreeing to taking in this puppy, and I regret that. I regret not talking to him first. He's my man, my partner, we're supposed to talk about these things and I disrespected our partnership by keeping this from him.

If there is ever a post that he reads, I hope it's this one. I hope you're reading this and know I love you and I promise not to bring home anymore animals without discussing it with you first......unless I find one on the side of the road, then I'll call you from the car and see what you think I should do......but I won't bring it inside!! I feel like this is a good deal.

© CATE MAJOR / OgFOMK ArTS -- 2018 All Rights Reserved. - PANIC ATTACK PAINTS - "I FUCKED UP”
© CATE MAJOR / OgFOMK ArTS -- 2018 All Rights Reserved. - PANIC ATTACK PAINTS - "I FUCKED UP”

Bars, Friends and the one that ends up sleeping over.... October is when my S.A.D. kicks in. I struggle with needing power and being empowered. I do things spur of the moment without thinking of the consequences because I need to feel like I am in control. And majority of the time, that does not work in my favor. 

#OgFOMK #PanicAttackPaints #ifuckedup #livingwithPTSD #seasonalaffectivedisorder #livingwithSAD #tellmyboyfriendiamsorry

URL: https://www.ogfomk.com/2018/10/i-messed-uppanic-attack-paints.html

© CATE MAJOR / OgFOMK ArTS -- 2018 All Rights Reserved. - PANIC ATTACK PAINTS - "I FUCKED UP”



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